I fell out of a window last night, a third floor window at a party in the Pijp in amsterdam. It could have killed me. The trip down took forever but the impact did virtually nothing. My ribs are bruised and I have a blinding headache, but that's it. I'm all granite. An old lady on the first floor called an ambulance but I told her I was fine. She was on her balcony, I was in her yard with her cat. She'd called the police way before because of the music; then I fell, and then she called the ambulance on the same number. I was drunk - no, I was on my way. The party stopped after that. I came back up all tough like "where's my drink" but Harold said 'We kappen ermee', which means we're stopping in dutch. It scared the shit out of everyone. Everyone started whispering and patting me on the back It was accident - loosely interpreted, it was an accident. Frederic's girlfriend was there. Anna. She's half Yugoslav. She's a fucking beauty. I couldn't stop looking at her, like when a tv's on in a bar and someone's talking to you or when you see a beautiful animal in the wild, that's how , not drooling, not erect, not like stripping her down in my brain , just looking, kind of in awe, kind of in wonder. She has these big sad eyes, and these arms that kind of a flick up when she's talking, like the end of a cat's tail. I was sitting by the window. This dutch guy was telling me about his trip to Sao Paolo and how cool it was being real in the favelas. I know frederic, he's always around. He's a designer, like a furniture designer. He's a joke. He has one of those aluminum briefcases, one of those really thin ones. He loves aluminum. He designed a chair called Obtuse, because it's all long and stretchy, you know like obtuse angles - how clever - it won a prize. The chair is also aluminum. Obtuse also means moronic. He told me to stop looking at Anna but I ignored him and kept looking at her arms flicking up. I was just sitting on the sill. The window was open. I don't know if he realized what he was doing.
Fucking headache. Tomorrow I start a new job at a restaurant in Amsterdam West. I won't mention the name. If it sucks I want to be able to speak freely. I'll mention the name when the time comes.